Brown Thick Discharge

The holy book of the creation of Uhnox 7

continues the story of our holiday imaginary:
lxxiii try to break through the enemy lines,
Lucifer waving the white flag as a madman.




Strangely Uhnox 7 there is a book about the creation
similar in some respects to the first chapters of Genesis,
and the spurious and apocryphal tales flourished around them.
Me I've got a copy of the newspaper duty free on the second of Betelgeuse,
and there are a few excerpts for you to do the comparison yourself. In the language of

Uhnox 7 there is no real word for God, so they use the periphrasis
'The guy soon and much more clever than us'.
Or even the proper name 'Wilbur', but point out that the prophets
is a confidence that we take for convenience only and synthesis, and has no theological value in themselves.



It 'an interesting read, but if you consider that
psychiatrists of 7 Uhnox see the phallus as a symbol breech ...
have a measure of how their culture is different from our own ...

3. Man

After having created man, Wilbur filled him with blows.

"Ahio, Wilbur!" complained the man.

"Shut up idiot, feel humiliated and be quiet."

"Why are they doing this? Have I made unhappy? Have I sinned?"

"Apart from that sin we have not invented yet, but we think
something, though you have been created from scratch, you're the first man,
and do not have parents, right?"

"Right, Wilbur." said the man

"So I have to think about your childhood trauma, no?"



7. The woman

Wilbur, in his infinite wisdom,
saw that he had neither the time nor the desire to stay behind
man to tell him what to do and what not to do.
So she created for that purpose.

"Woman," he said with a loud voice,
"will appeal to you and your daughters to stand by himself and explain what to do and what not to do."

And the woman: "As controls, Wilbur.
then I will have the knowledge of good and evil, to discern between the two
and advise wisdom with my partner? "

" Eeeeh? Ah, siiiiiiiiiiiiì, ceeeeeeeerto ....." Wilbur said, laughing in his sleeve.

And then he took two kicks in the ribs while the man slept,
because it was so funny that he could not wait for the other to wake up.

"Man, I've created a companion."

"I will be faithful?"

And Wilbur thought to himself:
"These are better than sea monkeys that I created last year.
And then they both fantastic ideas. "

" Wilbur? Are you there? "

" Er. Yes, she will be faithful to you as the wave is uh true to rock,
As the leaves are the tree. "

And Wilbur created the Fall and low tide.



9.The 'intelligence

" Wilbur! "

" What is it, man ?

"That woman you gave me to wife ...
I do is argue all day long.
I think you made it too smart,
and she uses her intelligence to the dialectic of whether or not there would be no need. Wilbur
Oh, my dog never quarreled.
can make intelligent as my dog? "

Wilbur laughed, and she had the intelligence of a dog.

But the next day the man called Wilbur again.

"What do you want this time?"

"Nothing has changed.
continue to fight as before, but in addition you do not understand the explanations, and argues
inappropriately and poorly polished. Raise your voice and often beats me."

"So, what do you do?"

"Well, meanwhile, make her less strong, so I can tolerate the beatings.
And then return it the good intelligence."

"No man, you can not ask me to undo what I did at your request."

"Then make me less intelligent, so do not try more
this frustration I feel when I
to explain things and does not understand ... "

" Wait till you have children ... "

" As you say, Wilbur? "

" Nothing. Done. "

" Urgh. But now my mind is equal to that of the dog,
not stand that the dog is smarter than me.
Please scale the intelligence of dogs and other animals below the mine. "

" But this is a stupid idea, man, you realize what you say?
If you scale the intelligence of animals, they will not even be able to know where
what they eat or defecate. Do you understand that? "

" No, but it bothers me that the dog is intelligent as me. "

" If going to climb ... "

" No, look Wilbur, you said to me, but it's too long a speech, OK?
And I do not have a sufficient concentration to follow it ok?
I do not have this, I had a tough day, I got it from ... uhmmm, just do it
Okay, Wilbur, come on. "

" So be it. "

It was the end of the earthly paradise.



11. Sexes

" Wilbur, "she said "By the way, you mentioned children, how do I do?"

laughing and Wilbur created the sexes,
and made them because they were ridiculous beyond imagination.
And put them in the best place where the sexes could be:
the chest at the foot of the bed so that the man and the woman they could find and they had delight.
She found them first, and was delighted to seven days and seven nights
, locked room, and the man had to sleep in the dust.

Also because the woman locked in the room no one was cleaning the living room.
Then came weary, and went to bathe.
Then the man found the sexes, and shut himself in a room for seven days and seven nights to dabble in them.

In short, the man and woman came to an agreement.

"So, like it's your day, odd days it's my turn.
We ask Wilbur to make two more, but better not to provoke him.
Rather, we may change the living room and make it one of the sexes,
one uses them so while the other can sleep in the bed. "

" It seems a good idea.
Just do not let us use them to never have children, otherwise his children, then they will want to use, OK? "But Wilbur

heard them, and is very angry with them.

" AAAAAAHHHHHHAAAAHAHAAAAHAAAAAAA

!!!!!!" " Wilbur, who is it? "

" Know ye not adjust them in the use of the sexes.
For this I assign them a punishment only for each
and you'll have in custody a man sex, and you the other woman.
And there the body will attack them, so that you can not fool me. "

" But Wilbur ... that sucks!
I can not do certain things in front of her, I not only shame, but
makes me want to spend with his speeches. "

And Wilbur in his infinite wisdom, replied:
" You'll see that on some occasions even she will want to make many speeches ...
and you will all shame. Now Choose for sex. "

" I'll take this. "The man said.
" I like it. And 'well-balanced and shape reminiscent
' some of my gear ... "

And the woman:" To me it goes well. I prefer this thing here.
Just me the I, and without it you will go blank. "

The man was terrified by this sentence, and in part still is now.